Teresa's Korner

Well, it’s Good Friday. I am not really sure how calendar creators over the years decide when Christians celebrate Jesus’s Crucifixion, Resurrection and Ascention, but I love this time of year.
For atheists and others who deny Christ’s existence, I honestly feel sorry for them. Why? They are missing out on a life they shouldv’e had, not the one they made for themselves.
Sometimes, I don’t understand how atheists are who they are. Do they not realize there is proof in God’s existence? What I do know is that even if you took the Bible out of play, world history records that a man named Jesus was crucified for his teachings. Were those teachings so bad that people feel they were of a looney? Gee, He only taught about love, tolerance, forgiveness. He got on a cross to prove that and more. I guess to atheists, faith in something they can’t see if just to hard for them, so they choose not to believe.
It is just too difficult for them to believe in something so beautiful and pure, full of love and kindness.
People read the Bible and gather that God is not kind. They apparently forget men not God wrote the Bible. Yes, God inspired it, but His pure thoughts might not have been written that way thanks to the ways of the imperfect man. It has been twisted to serve many an evil purpose-Hitler used it to kill six million Jews, slave-owners used it to say blacks were less than whites. It is all in how you read it.
Churches can twist the Bible as well. Remember that the Bible in the hands of men can be twisted because man is twisted. The Bible is filled with the words that Christ wanted men to hear if they would pay attention to it. Everybody seems to dwell on the “eye for and eye” quote and death to those who will lie down with beasts or the same sex. They forget about the verse DO NOT JUDGE, LEST YOU BE JUDGED! Christ’s words in the Bible are of love, respect and forgiveness. They are also of a warning- HE IS COMING BACK FOR HIS FOLLOWERS! Won’t atheists be shocked? Or will they?
People think that if there is a God, why doesn’t He stop the bad-well you have to understand in God first-I do wonder where atheists think the good and evil in a person comes from though.
I KNOW there is God and Christ and Holy Spirit. I have seen his miracles in my life and it is not magic. I don’t give money to any church and God still loves me. I don’t have to pay penance and I won’t stay in purgatory-Jesus paid the price for me.
I have had many bad things in my life. Some that made me want to forget about God and the whole afterlife deal, but that is what my faith is about-holding on to it no matter how hard things get-I won’t curse God and die. I realize that it is hard to change and become something new. I have found that the rewards are far greater than all of the pains I have suffered. God has always carried me through the rough patches, like a soldier picking up the injured and carrying them to safety. I always come out on the other side.
I am sad we were and are so sorry as human beings that Christ had to do what He had to do, but I am thankful He saved me from Hell. Thank You God for what you sent to save us all, and I will pray for those who just don’t think you sent anything at all.

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I know I have been away for a while, so I guess I should rename this stuff “This whenever I feel like it blog”. Oh well. I will give the rest of the story Paul Harvey, as my dad says.

Today, I go to a visit a stranger. He works in a semi-large building with some other strangers I don’t know. He is a surgeon.
I starting noticing a protrusion on a my abdomen a few weeks ago. I am thinking it is another hernia, but who knows-I have only had 2 previous hernias before. YAY! My new title shall be hernia lady.
So for now I have mental disease, obesity, gray hair, and I am hernia prone. I just really hope the doctor doesn’t blame everything on my weight. Even if I weighed 196 pounds again, I am still overweight in the eyes of the government. Adam said I looked anorexic then..even his mom said you should probably stop losing weight now.
I wish I could have my gastric bypass redone, but I am not rich, so that will be darn near impossible.
The reason I gained weight wasn’t all my fault. It was Adam’s. Just kidding. It was my little bun in the oven that was born in 2006. I love her and would never want to reverse time to not have her, but I wouldn’t mind weighing 196 again. I think Adam would though. He likes a meaty lady.
I am not really unhealthy because of the weight. I don’t have high blood pressure, cholesterol, our high blood sugar.
I just don’t want that doc to say that I am fat-duh-I been this way for a 30 year period. Please just don’t say I am fat, cause i am not stupid. I see that. Call me crazy..I am getting use to that!

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A few days ago, Adam alerted me about the Mississippi prom that was canceled because of so-called gay issues.
That isn’t really what bothers me. It is the fact that on a site called Dad Blogs that Adam subscribes to, a blogger known as Daddy Files had to go and bash the South. He even put up a “redneck” picture with some half-toothed man in overalls who was holding a shotgun.

I get so sick of this crap. I know historically that the South did some terrible, horrendous acts, but do we now have to be held accountable as idiots or rednecks because of actions done long ago and done by someone else? Why is each Southern person grouped in with the rest?

I am a really open-minded person. I don’t care where you are from-I try very hard not to judge anyone, because as I have said before, I am not the Judge here-God is. If you don’t believe in God, well human beings, while it may be in their nature, shouldn’t judge others based simply on where they are from. Talk about bigotry-I think that if you are gonna cast out different people because of their background or where they come from, you have to be one of the biggest bigots ever.

I could say many things about people who are from other areas of the US, but I don’t-well, at least not out loud anyway. I have always hated the way people can judge others based on looks, intelligence, creed, religion…well you get the point.

The saying that you can’t judge a book by its cover never expired. I think the best evidence of this is from my studies of serial killers.

We tell our kids to stay away from people who look scary or haggled or just plain mean, but it just isn’t true. People who are seemingly perfect on the outside can have a hideous past with a deadly darkside.

The beautiful, the rich, poor, or ugly-anyone-can be very bad and evil. They need not call the South or the North, East or West home to gain immunity from being less-than-perfect. No region is immune from hate and ignorance.

The only way we can move forward is to stop this ignorance, and start the tolerance. Of course, in high school, I was told the only way to end prejudices was to wait until all the old people with the old ways of thinking died out. It is just to bad that those old people have continued the legacy by passing down hate before they kicked off.

Satan has to be so proud.

We can stop this if we try. All we have to do is STOP THE CYCLE!
Being proud of who we are and where we came from-how about passing that down, instead of a whole lot of ignorance and hate?

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I guess I am gonna go ahead and say I probably might or won’t get to write every night. I’ve got the quirky 3-year-old who thinks sleep is highly overrated. Thankfully Adam will be home tonight. YAY ME!

There are 4 things I am to people: 1 goes to God, 1 goes to my family I have made for myself, 1 goes to my family in AL, and one goes to me.
I am pretty sure I am standing someone in front of the a totem pole where I am a the base.

I have heard that being lowest in the pole meant you got the the short end of the stick or the bad handle in the deal.
But, I don’t get that anymore:Someone has to be the base for on which everything willl come from.

My base has everything that has blossomed from what I have done- a family,dreams that are all mine, and the Lord about sitting a top watching over whatever is on the totem.

God Bless the Single Parent

I am not a single parent, nor have ever been one, but I do feel like something should be said here.
Parents are brave souls anyway-at least if they are doing right-then to be a single parent has to be rough. You don’t get the chance to semi-raise your kids without daycare like I have.
Plus, the fabulous world of statstics say that kids without a 2 parent family, fail more that others with 2 parents.
I choose not to believe this based on the fact that there is always that one human idolized in the media that has broken free from the chains of adversity. That has to say something .
My mom says “you have to do what you have to do”. Sometimes you have bend the rules to deal with life and in parenting we need that freebie pass. So bless the singles w/kids…Don’t give up.
I must also say “thanks” to them all.

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Sorry to those non-existence followers of mine-yesterday I was just too sleepy.
Tonight, I am gonna visit a few topics, so I am just gonna write as it comes to me.
My first thought is about the National Anthem, well technically not about the Anthem, but something related to me about it.
I remember when I was a senior in high school, I was in love with singing and baseball and the interesting combination of the two. Back then I wasn’t fearless, but I was one of the only seniors to have a pretty awesome mode of transportation. Ok, Ok, it was a Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo, but it was bought new at a haggled-down price of 23 grand. Back then, that serious cash bought me awesome school “cred” as it is called now, so this kinda made feel a little uppity and kinda fear free.
Anyways, anyways, back to the point-I had this awesome dream that, at the time, seemed plausible-I wanted to sing the National Anthem at a baseball game-preferably at the pro-circuit.
Now, I am 31 and I have no more line to that goal than I did to that other goal of chartering a boat to go “sharking”. Ah, to swim with the sharks. I think I dream way too big and apparently for someone else with a lot more money and well, a lot more money.
I guess I could still reach the goals, if I tried really hard, but I just don’t think that is in the cards. I have to believe that God dealt my cards and I can’t “go fish” for something else.
I think right now I am focused on something else-it was like a spark of light and everything passed away. Old thoughts and dreams didn’t matter anymore.
I was told I must do something more than be a singer or shark diver-those things wouldn’t really change anything about society, if society can be changed.
Jesus in effect said-You(meaning us mere mortals)catch them, and I(meaning Jesus)will clean them.
I felt and still feel different about all of the flash of inspiration.
I had been waiting for a long time-For once, I felt that life was soon to be about me.
Now there was a concept. I don’t know what it is, but even after finding true love and having become a parent-life was never about me.
I am a bit still apprehensive about my revelations, but they have never been so clearer.

I just can’t wait to get started…

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Let me tell you things according to me.
My Believes (no not beliefs):
I believe people should worry about the log in their own eye before wondering about mine. Jesus talked about this frequently in and out Revelation.
I believe the “eye for and eye” won’t fly when we face judgement day.
I believe that all suffering a Christian faces in a constant battle against evil, will reap many more rewards than what can be seem here on earth.
I believe that it is not my job to cast judgement on anyone.
Here is where i differ from most so called “Christians”- I wait with open arms to anyone-gay or straight-black, white, whatever.
Jesus was to open-minded or else he would have helped only the priviledged people.
I believe that while going to church is a great way to fellowship with other Christians, you don’t hold the golden ticket into Heaven by attending.
One fill-in pastor we had in GA , basically said that if you weren’t tithing, your not receive anthing from God. Of course this is not true, because people who don’t go to church or give money to the church receive miracles-including myself.
Sometimes, I feel God is sad because of how his love for all of has been so contorted and twisted.
I don’t believe that suicide dooms us to Hell either. That is something I cannot judge on. Who knows anything about death? No One! Most of time when you die-you don’t comeback to say what the after life was like.
I think that it way wrong to have prayer taken out of schools, but I am reminded daily that this Earth is not ours. Satan was thrown here to kill and destroy.
I think that people blame God way too much, when they need to take a u-turn and place the blame on Satan. After all, he started all of this mess. With that said,
All these things lead to a not so perfect life. The closer we draw to God, the more Satan draws to you, making you so confused. Who do I blame this time?
In the Bible we see how God tested many of his followers. God in Job used Satan to cause his carnage. While Job lost everthing, and got way pissed off about it, he never uttered the phrase Satan so wants every Christian to say: “Curse God and Die!”
I think the perfect life as Christians escapes us beacause we are in a constant battle-fighting for God, while holding off Satan. We hold onto a one and true God. Just think of how we piss Satan off, because we believe in something higher and better.
I think everyone that is a believer has wished Adam and Eve had never sinned, or that Lucifer had never been boastful. I just don’t get all of his hate and evil. He is and forever wiil be a “dirty ‘old bastard”. Well from me to you Satan: I rebuke your name forever and eternity-Take that!

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Everyday, I am going to be posting a little something here in the hopes of one of two things-someone will read this or someone will like this.

I think I am gonna have to agree with most people and say my life hasn’t been perfect. I do think that some people have had nearly perfect lives, where good things happened to fall into their laps on a constant basis.

I would like to a kin to a popular bumper sticker seen where else but on the butt of an old rusty beat-up van- “Christians aren’t perfect-just Forgiven”. I would like to focus on the “Forgiven”, and the fact that I sometimes feel like that beat-up van.

First of all Atheist and Agnostics, I do believe in God and since you don’t, you probably won’t get a darn word I am saying-that is fine-I am not really here to offend-just have a moment of time for me.

I am a CHRISTIAN! I am FORGIVEN! I am God’s faithful servant. Being forgiven changed my life. I was reborn, but my rebirth has not been easy.

Unlike most people, the day I received Christ was also the day I was given a gift extraordinaire-I really have a difficult time dealing with it, and as you can expect to hear the whole “gift or curse”, no where does it apply better to me. My gift is like a shapeshifter, for it changes at will, surprising me and almost knocking me down sometimes.

I guess you can say I am a somewhat psychic, but the most of what I know is reading an energy from objects and creatures. I say creatures because it doesn’t just apply to humans.

Because of forgiveness, I am this person now. I have been revealed to be a warrior for God. I no longer fear death, nor do I feel like I will die. I feel like Jesus will return and after I am done fighting I will bathe in the beauty of God’s glowing being. You do know God is not man or woman right? He is this light and being of that light.

As bad as this might sound, I cannot speak for others. I can only hope to lead the horse to water-whether he drinks is anyone’s guess.Every parent and wife would like to think that their child or husband will greet them in Eternity, but nothing is a guarantee.I can pray for everyone, but I am only in control of my life.

Don’t get mad though, I think of myself as a very sacrificial person. I put others wishes above mine, and I go without to give them what they need. I think this is what I was supposed to do. It all goes along with the forgiveness.

Me, like any other Christian, has to be embracing a new life, so I am learning to embrace this gift that has been bestowed upon me.

May the world fall away, but I will remain, God saying come with me for your struggles were not in vain. Come my good and faithful servant-ah just to hear those words, that I am a treasure in God’s eyes.

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God Bless Adam and my family-all of my family. What they have had to endure at the hand of an unstable wife and mother almost causes an insanity in itself.
For all my life, I have been in a war, if you will, with myself. Although thankfully I have caused no bloodshed, I have caused a lot of suffering. In my younger days, for a school assignment, I read a story of how a man is only free when he has destroyed his inner demons-what the author forgot to put in there was how long the fighting or war would persist.
It is my belief that Adam and some of my other family members must think I make things up of the unbelievable based on the fact that I probably do only have a few “marbles’” rolling around here and there.
Something is different about me..I possess a quality of a sense that others may not have. Because of my “sensing”, I am being punished by a demon that cannot be freed no matter how hard I try.
No, I am not possessed by some demon like you might find in exorcisms, but he or it is still there.
As a young child, I had the best and worst of everything. I went to only private schools-only until my 10th grade year had I left the “private” sector. Everyday was a torture to live another brutal day in “weak-minded” society-I can’t even begin to tell you about the name-calling and alienation caused by heartless other kids, all because I wasn’t a string bean pole. I was treated as if I had leprosy.
I don’t know why I didn’t tell a teacher or my mom about the bullying. I figured that each day might get a little better, but sadly, things only got worse. It continued on until, like I said, I left the “private” sector. It is amazing how much better one can be treated when not in the presence of rich kids.
Because of my youth, which I will always blame-I am who I am-I can’t even begin to tell a story of lowest self-esteem. I don’t even know what I look like anymore-society has put numbers and scales to tell us how imperfect we are. Duh, I already knew that.
My own personal war isn’t always about not being a string bean. I battle everyday with fear that consumes me. Man cannot make enough drugs for my condition. “Hey doc, gotta pill that can expunge all of the bad energy?” I didn’t think so.
I feel like Satan is always trying at his best to make curse God and die, in a sense, of course. He makes attacks at family, and if I had many friends, he would seek them out too. He needs me because of my powers, but he will not win. It is in times of pain that I turn to God, not to hate, or Satan, or some other demonic force. This doesn’t make anything easy to come by, and it never will.
So Popeye, I am what I am and I had better get used to that. One day the Heavens and all of God’s glory will make me understand what it was all about.
So again, I thank my family for holding on and not giving me the boot.
One day God will pull me out of the darkness and help me see the lighted clearing. I am remembering that story again…here is the rest of it..it should make sense now:

All honor then to that brave heart
Though poor or rich he be
Who struggles with his baser part
Who conquers and is free
He may not wear a hero’s crown
Or nil a hero’s grave
But truth will place his name among
The bravest of the brave

Thanks Charles J. Barnes, circa late 1800′s.
May God Bless you as well.

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I feel like I am lying face down on the floor. I don’t want to get up either. I just want to lay here and sulk a while, until I figure out why I carry a terrible curse in my head. I don’t think I have ever felt human a day in my life, in fact I used to tell my mom I wasn’t from here. Of course what sounded strange at time is no longer feeling strange. I am deeply upset about what I am. I feel like I am so saddened by the fact I wasn’t a breakaway singer running from the hills to become what I have always dreamed of becoming-a singer. I don’t want all the popularity. I just want to live up to what my namesake has always been. I am confused. How come someone you love so much can just simply not spell it all out for me? Lord,you work on your own time,but I am asking abd begging what does it all mean? I feel like a take the weight of the world on my shoulders. I almost collapse with a rush of good and evil that flows though me at any time. Please allow me to understand this. It is all I ask. I love you Lord, and I am thankful for what I have but please don’t forget about me.

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I feel like I am lying face down on the floor. I don’t want to get up either. I just want to lay here and sulk a while, until I figure out why I carry a terrible curse in my head. I don’t think I have ever felt human a day in my life, in fact I used to tell my mom I wasn’t from here. Of course what sounded strange at time is no longer feeling strange. I am deeply upset about what I am. I feel like I am so saddened by the fact I wasn’t a breakaway singer running from the hills to become what I have always dreamed of becoming-a singer. I don’t want all the popularity. I just want to live up to what my namesake has always been. I am confused. How come someone you love so much can just simply not spell it all out for me? Lord,you work on your own time,but I am asking abd begging what does it all mean? I feel like a take the weight of the world on my shoulders. I almost collapse with a rush of good and evil that flows though me at any time. Please allow me to understand this. It is all I ask. I love you Lord, and I am thankful for what I have but please don’t forget about me.

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